The other day my husband and I were able to have some one on one time while the kids were at grandma's house. We actually had a great conversation about our families. After the divorce my family fell apart. My dad moves around constantly but is truly the only one I have contact with and that is through his new wife. My mom, though only a mile away has become self-involved and is only a part of our family when it is convenient for her (which is maybe twice a year or on the kids birthdays). Overall my family is non-existent since that's all I have and we're okay with that for many reasons.
What took us for surprise was his side of the family. Maybe it's due to how spread out everyone is and the inability to see how each has changed if at all. But we are noticing that the perceptions have never changed. At family functions they remark at what an awful memory my husband has or how badly he treated others in the family. It was funny the first 5 years, but now that we have children of our own we wonder! My husband has said that many things he doesn't remember because they were not important to him or it was something he would rather forget. What others have claimed as being treated badly were only a few times and many of them perceived differently that they were. My husband has never been one to rehash the past...it was something he hated in my family because they failed to see what was and what will be, they settled on what was instead of asking about the now. We know and hope that we are much different that what we were. We have grown so much individually and as a couple to see that what they saw is no longer what we are.
This was never more apparent then our time spent with them over the summer. We found that we are truly not a part of the family. Our special needs are far more than they are willing to take time to understand. We are no longer an important piece. It's not necessarily because what was said, but what was not said. Now I will say that our marriage has never been agreeable with his family, neither was our relationship. It was something that they had hoped would dissolve over our long distance relationship, but we survived and are stronger. I have never truly been accepted into the family and maybe it's because we basically grew up together as we've been together since we were 15. Though after all the years of dating and marriage and children I thought our accomplishments would finally be enough, even my husband thought it would be enough. I even considered my MIL as Naomi and would follow her, just as Ruth followed Naomi. They were the only family I had since mine was no longer. However, after our visit we found that we will never be fully accepted, especially now with our child with special needs. And so we do what we do best, pull ourselves up from our bootstraps and focus on our goals for our children and our family. We have lost connection with most of his family and now only make contact on holidays, making small talk in knowing they don't really want to hear what we do and make the talks short for fear of feeling less than or not enough. This is a difficult task because they are family and we always hope to make our families proud through our growth and accomplishments and the difference we make in the lives of others, which is what we have been raised to do. The lack of relationship, acceptance, and understanding is something we can not be a part of. This has not been easy, we mourned and accepted the fact we have a special child and we new that sacrifices needed to be made, we just never knew it would be family related, but we press on!
So with all of our sorrows and changes in family structure we have to ask ourselves, what can we do to make sure this doesn't happen to our family? I hope we are on the right track. We make sure there is respect between siblings, we don't allow bullying in the house and try to maintain open and honest conversation. We allow our children to be independent and respect the choices they make and applaud them for the ideals that make them stronger individuals. We strive to show them how to be thoughtful of others through mission projects, community giving, etc. We have begun to pray for their spouses, that they will be open-hearted, and open-minded as they will also help with the trials and tribulations of our son. We hope our children will remain tight-knit and will be in close proximity to each other so they can live, laugh, love, and share in each other's growth. I know somethings will never be perfect and I know there will be things I will need to make the best of, but my hope is that I will never feel as though my children are less than perfect, that they will always know how important they are in our family and how each one of them make an impact on who we are and that any contributions made by them will only allow our family unit to be stronger. I believe we are already on that track and I can not help but thank our youngest son for showing us the importance of value, honesty, unconditional love, strength and perseverance.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Just when you think it's smooth sailing!
Everything was going well, kids were adjusting to their new classes and for Z a new school. Grades were exceptional and all was well...didn't even have sick kids the first couple of weeks of school (which is amazing!) D and I were excited because we had planned a weekend (Saturday afternoon til Sunday) away from the kids which had been 4 years since the last time that happened. The weekend before we were to leave A began to get sick. This did not worry us in the least because we thought it was a stomach bug...2 days tops right?? A stayed home Monday because she was throwing up, we decided to let her stay overnight at her grandma's house Monday evening because she was still running a low grade fever and was not ready to go back to school. Luckily the vomiting had ceased earlier in the day and figured that another day of rest would get her ready for school. Tuesday morning at 6 am we got a call from grandma stating A had terrible stomach pain on the right hand side of her tummy, had been moaning all night and wanted to take her to the ER. Since I had not seen her since the day before I was hesitant on her going. I am very much in-tuned with my kids and I know what's going on before most do, so I didn't want to jump the gun until I could see for myself. So I waited until the Dr.'s office opened and spoke with a nurse who stated that it would be the afternoon before she could be seen and that if she was in enough pain, she needed to go to the ER. It still wasn't good enough for me. I waited it out, checking on her every couple of hours to see how she was doing. She was regaining strength and by about 1pm, she was perky, wanted to vacuum the rugs and get her nails done, so I thought heck she's ready to go to school in the morning and thankful that I didn't overreact on taking her to the ER. When I got home that afternoon, Anna came home as well...I was hoping to get a smile, I missed you momma, and I'm ready to go to school....but that would not be the case.
When she arrived A got out of the car slowly and slumped over. Her grandma proceeded to tell me that about an hour before she came home she went downhill quick and was in worse pain than before. I was concerned, and after seeing her I knew something was not right. I called the Dr's. office again and explained her symptoms, to which they said "I would have thought the same thing (stomach virus) as you because we have had many calls regarding those exact symptoms, until you said she was hunched over". The nurse explained that it was my call to either take her to the ER or monitor her closely. D and I had spoken on the phone and I waited for his arrival to make the decision. We were trying to save money for our trip, but I knew that if we waited and did not take her we would be in big trouble while we were gone. After I told D that she went directly to her room and got in bed when she got home, he checked on her....she was basically non-responsive in and out of consciousness trying to sleep the pain away. After seeing her D was still a little hesitant about sending her, but agreed we needed to do something. So I took her...and prayed the wait would be minimal.
We got there a close to 6pm, and sat for maybe 2 minutes in the waiting room to be seen. When A was seen by a nurse and after listening to the questions she was asked I thought....woohoo! it's just a bladder infection...we'll be in and out of here in no time! Ha!! We were put into a room to await being seen and to wait for some lab work. Another nurse came in and pressed in 3 distinct areas on her belly and asked if it hurt. She pressed on the left side and it hurt, pressed in the middle, didn't hurt, pressed on the right and really hurt. After pressing on her the nurse asked me if I knew what we were trying to rule out, to which I said yes Appendix. After she agreed, she then stated that it was NOT something she ruled out. So a CT was ordered, Anna had to drink the apple juice that didn't taste like apple juice and we waited. The nurse wait we would wait 1 1/2 hours, we waited less than an hour and were in the CT room. We were not back in the room a minute and the Dr. came in and said "you know what we are here for right?" I said yes Appendix, he questioned "Oh, you already know?" I did a double take, and said know what? He said, her appendix are inflammed and we need to do surgery immediately! We just need to know if it will be local or if we'll have to send her to Houston. While I waited for the news the Dr. stated that if she had come in a day or so earlier they would have just treated her for the UTI that the tests showed she had and sent her on her way. WOW, what a God moment to know that we did what we needed to do at just the right time!
It was all coming so fast. I knew that this was a possibility, but the way everyone had talked I thought it was a bladder infection...to which that was also some of the problem. I was trying to get everything situated in my head...then everything hit me. Okay, if we had to go to Houston, D would be there with me know question...then who would watch the kids, how would they get from point A to point B? Scheduling is everything at our house and normalcy is explicitly important for J! It was coming at me at light speed at the strength of a Mack truck and I didn't know what to do! My phone was dead, Anna was now in a drugged sleep and I was alone with her in the room...and I broke down. I broke down at the idea of what if, I broke down at the not knowing of where we would be I broke down at the fact the my world was turning upside down with each passing minute and I was helpless. After a few seconds, I chastised myself for being vulnerable in front of my child who was also nervous about what was going on and not understanding the seriousness of it. The strange thing about all of this was that at no time was I concerned about her well-being, at no time was I concerned about the surgery or if anything would happen. At some point I knew that she would be okay, it was a calm in me that put me back together. As the nurse came in she asked if I needed a tissue to which I quickly said No! I pulled myself together and began planning until I knew more. I contacted people who I knew would be willing to help and knew my kids well enough that they wouldn't be overwhelmed with them. I looked at everyone I knew and their schedules and worked accordingly as I waited. A few minutes later, the nurse said there was a Dr. here that would take her surgery and 30 minutes later she was being wheeled into surgery.
Within all of that I had the kids schedules taken care of, D was with me. Before he came to the hospital I asked that he tell the other kids what was going on. Z wasn't concerned because papa had surgery a few months before, but M was a different story. She cried because her sister was in trouble, she mourned at the fact that she had been hateful to her and now it was possible that she wouldn't see her again. I'm sure she had a thousand things running through her head, but her papa calmed her fears and let her know she could see her the next day. J was already asleep so he never knew anything happened. Surgery started around 10:15pm and we were going up to her room just after 11.
As we were waiting during surgery we had a couple of surprises. A couple of friends stopped by to stay with us until she was out of surgery. I cannot thank them enough for distracting us during this time, especially at that time of night! It was appreciated more than they'll ever know. We laughed and reminisced until we got the call that A was out of surgery. The Dr. then came out and explained that her appendix were gangrenous and had begun to leak which is why the surgery took longer than normal. Because of the leak they had to install a bell in her belly to ensure that everything that drained. He was not sure how long she'd be in the hospital but guaranteed at least 2 days. We asked if we could take her appendix home in a jar, but the Dr. said know that it is sent to a lab to be studied, but we could take a picture of it....so D did and it stunk! Luckily I was far enough away that I didn't smell it, but I took the Dr. and D's word on the matter.
Once A was in her room, I slipped away to gather some things from home and prepare for an over night with A. Once I was back D and I switched places and he went home to the kids and I stayed. D was the jack of all trades during our hospital time and I worked with A to get her back to health. It was painful for A. The first night was awful. When she needed to use the bathroom, there was no waiting! I cannot tell you how many times I yanked the IV plug from the wall and quickly turned it around the bed and helped A make it to the potty in time. Only once did she wet the bed because she couldn't make it in time. When that happened I assured her that it was okay and that I had extra clothing for her for this purpose.
The next day the nurse stated that she would need to get up and moving around, so we did. I made her walk 4 times a day around the floor because I knew that it would help and for a moment I was in a flashback in preparing J for life, revving him up to feed, making him work for everything he did....it was the same way with A. After she completed her first lap, the nurse gave her a bear for her accomplishment, which I thought was awesome! A was exhausted but not once did she cry! She would groan and moan when in pain, but never cry. After a good afternoon nap she was ready to receive company and she was showered with it! Her brothers and sister were excited to see her and were very attentive to her needs. The out pouring of love was seen during this time! Her teacher had A as a center assignment which every student colored, wrote, drew something for her and even gave up their coupons for her. It was amazing! She received gifts from family friends as well as family. She knew she was loved!
By the third day she was ready per the Dr. to be released, but this day was feared by A because she knew what had to happen before she went home....have the bell removed from her tummy! The bell was a nuisance for A, she hated it...but the knowledge of having at least 6 inches of tubing inside her stomach and knowing it had to come out was not something she looked forward to. Throughout all of this she had only cried for a couple of seconds to which was only done in frustration after walking. I wasn't sure how she would take this removal. I knew that A was a trooper, she had more inner strength than any kid I had ever seen her age. I knew that she was strong, but never had it been tested. So when it was time, I held on to her with both arms and blocked the view of what was going on. As the nurse counted she waited for A to say go and when she did, she screamed for a couple of seconds....stated "that hurt" and held on to me for a couple of seconds like a koala hugging a tree, then it was over. No tears, just went back to watch TV. Now let me express that the removal of this tube is very painful...a couple of nurses told me that it had made grown men cry and that no meds would help the situation. The nurse that removed the tube had even told a that she had just removed another from a grown man and it made him cry like a 2 year old...and here she was with no tears....AMAZING! And with that it was time to go home, and we did!
We got home Friday afternoon at 3:50 pm. We were so happy to be home! It felt good to be in our own beds and to have normalcy once again regain it's rightful place. A was told that she could not do physical activity for 2 weeks and couldn't lift anything until she saw the Dr. again. M was happy to help her in any way, everyone was happy to see her home and in much better spirits than before she left that Monday morning. We had the weekend to relax and prepare. J had an opportunity to regain his much needed schedule and people placement. Now 3 weeks later I can say that A is completely back to normal...quite honestly she was back to her old self by about Wednesday after she got home.
Needless to say we did not get that trip that we planned and even fear the idea of trying to leave again...simply because we have 3 others with appendix and we are afraid to take any chances! But through all of this we are a stronger family unit. We were able to see what was important, we were able to see who we could trust, who truly cared what was going on, etc. God did some miraculous things during that time and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Though we now await for each bill to come in, I am taken back to that week, knowing that I wouldn't change anything and to see so many wonderful highlights of that time. So very thankful that everything happened just at the right time, maybe not my timeline, but God's. I don't know why it happened during that time, but his ways are perfect and I know that it happened for a reason, but it did allow me to think....Just when you think it's smooth sailing, be ready for anything, because it's coming!
When she arrived A got out of the car slowly and slumped over. Her grandma proceeded to tell me that about an hour before she came home she went downhill quick and was in worse pain than before. I was concerned, and after seeing her I knew something was not right. I called the Dr's. office again and explained her symptoms, to which they said "I would have thought the same thing (stomach virus) as you because we have had many calls regarding those exact symptoms, until you said she was hunched over". The nurse explained that it was my call to either take her to the ER or monitor her closely. D and I had spoken on the phone and I waited for his arrival to make the decision. We were trying to save money for our trip, but I knew that if we waited and did not take her we would be in big trouble while we were gone. After I told D that she went directly to her room and got in bed when she got home, he checked on her....she was basically non-responsive in and out of consciousness trying to sleep the pain away. After seeing her D was still a little hesitant about sending her, but agreed we needed to do something. So I took her...and prayed the wait would be minimal.
We got there a close to 6pm, and sat for maybe 2 minutes in the waiting room to be seen. When A was seen by a nurse and after listening to the questions she was asked I thought....woohoo! it's just a bladder infection...we'll be in and out of here in no time! Ha!! We were put into a room to await being seen and to wait for some lab work. Another nurse came in and pressed in 3 distinct areas on her belly and asked if it hurt. She pressed on the left side and it hurt, pressed in the middle, didn't hurt, pressed on the right and really hurt. After pressing on her the nurse asked me if I knew what we were trying to rule out, to which I said yes Appendix. After she agreed, she then stated that it was NOT something she ruled out. So a CT was ordered, Anna had to drink the apple juice that didn't taste like apple juice and we waited. The nurse wait we would wait 1 1/2 hours, we waited less than an hour and were in the CT room. We were not back in the room a minute and the Dr. came in and said "you know what we are here for right?" I said yes Appendix, he questioned "Oh, you already know?" I did a double take, and said know what? He said, her appendix are inflammed and we need to do surgery immediately! We just need to know if it will be local or if we'll have to send her to Houston. While I waited for the news the Dr. stated that if she had come in a day or so earlier they would have just treated her for the UTI that the tests showed she had and sent her on her way. WOW, what a God moment to know that we did what we needed to do at just the right time!
It was all coming so fast. I knew that this was a possibility, but the way everyone had talked I thought it was a bladder infection...to which that was also some of the problem. I was trying to get everything situated in my head...then everything hit me. Okay, if we had to go to Houston, D would be there with me know question...then who would watch the kids, how would they get from point A to point B? Scheduling is everything at our house and normalcy is explicitly important for J! It was coming at me at light speed at the strength of a Mack truck and I didn't know what to do! My phone was dead, Anna was now in a drugged sleep and I was alone with her in the room...and I broke down. I broke down at the idea of what if, I broke down at the not knowing of where we would be I broke down at the fact the my world was turning upside down with each passing minute and I was helpless. After a few seconds, I chastised myself for being vulnerable in front of my child who was also nervous about what was going on and not understanding the seriousness of it. The strange thing about all of this was that at no time was I concerned about her well-being, at no time was I concerned about the surgery or if anything would happen. At some point I knew that she would be okay, it was a calm in me that put me back together. As the nurse came in she asked if I needed a tissue to which I quickly said No! I pulled myself together and began planning until I knew more. I contacted people who I knew would be willing to help and knew my kids well enough that they wouldn't be overwhelmed with them. I looked at everyone I knew and their schedules and worked accordingly as I waited. A few minutes later, the nurse said there was a Dr. here that would take her surgery and 30 minutes later she was being wheeled into surgery.
Within all of that I had the kids schedules taken care of, D was with me. Before he came to the hospital I asked that he tell the other kids what was going on. Z wasn't concerned because papa had surgery a few months before, but M was a different story. She cried because her sister was in trouble, she mourned at the fact that she had been hateful to her and now it was possible that she wouldn't see her again. I'm sure she had a thousand things running through her head, but her papa calmed her fears and let her know she could see her the next day. J was already asleep so he never knew anything happened. Surgery started around 10:15pm and we were going up to her room just after 11.
As we were waiting during surgery we had a couple of surprises. A couple of friends stopped by to stay with us until she was out of surgery. I cannot thank them enough for distracting us during this time, especially at that time of night! It was appreciated more than they'll ever know. We laughed and reminisced until we got the call that A was out of surgery. The Dr. then came out and explained that her appendix were gangrenous and had begun to leak which is why the surgery took longer than normal. Because of the leak they had to install a bell in her belly to ensure that everything that drained. He was not sure how long she'd be in the hospital but guaranteed at least 2 days. We asked if we could take her appendix home in a jar, but the Dr. said know that it is sent to a lab to be studied, but we could take a picture of it....so D did and it stunk! Luckily I was far enough away that I didn't smell it, but I took the Dr. and D's word on the matter.
Once A was in her room, I slipped away to gather some things from home and prepare for an over night with A. Once I was back D and I switched places and he went home to the kids and I stayed. D was the jack of all trades during our hospital time and I worked with A to get her back to health. It was painful for A. The first night was awful. When she needed to use the bathroom, there was no waiting! I cannot tell you how many times I yanked the IV plug from the wall and quickly turned it around the bed and helped A make it to the potty in time. Only once did she wet the bed because she couldn't make it in time. When that happened I assured her that it was okay and that I had extra clothing for her for this purpose.
The next day the nurse stated that she would need to get up and moving around, so we did. I made her walk 4 times a day around the floor because I knew that it would help and for a moment I was in a flashback in preparing J for life, revving him up to feed, making him work for everything he did....it was the same way with A. After she completed her first lap, the nurse gave her a bear for her accomplishment, which I thought was awesome! A was exhausted but not once did she cry! She would groan and moan when in pain, but never cry. After a good afternoon nap she was ready to receive company and she was showered with it! Her brothers and sister were excited to see her and were very attentive to her needs. The out pouring of love was seen during this time! Her teacher had A as a center assignment which every student colored, wrote, drew something for her and even gave up their coupons for her. It was amazing! She received gifts from family friends as well as family. She knew she was loved!
By the third day she was ready per the Dr. to be released, but this day was feared by A because she knew what had to happen before she went home....have the bell removed from her tummy! The bell was a nuisance for A, she hated it...but the knowledge of having at least 6 inches of tubing inside her stomach and knowing it had to come out was not something she looked forward to. Throughout all of this she had only cried for a couple of seconds to which was only done in frustration after walking. I wasn't sure how she would take this removal. I knew that A was a trooper, she had more inner strength than any kid I had ever seen her age. I knew that she was strong, but never had it been tested. So when it was time, I held on to her with both arms and blocked the view of what was going on. As the nurse counted she waited for A to say go and when she did, she screamed for a couple of seconds....stated "that hurt" and held on to me for a couple of seconds like a koala hugging a tree, then it was over. No tears, just went back to watch TV. Now let me express that the removal of this tube is very painful...a couple of nurses told me that it had made grown men cry and that no meds would help the situation. The nurse that removed the tube had even told a that she had just removed another from a grown man and it made him cry like a 2 year old...and here she was with no tears....AMAZING! And with that it was time to go home, and we did!
We got home Friday afternoon at 3:50 pm. We were so happy to be home! It felt good to be in our own beds and to have normalcy once again regain it's rightful place. A was told that she could not do physical activity for 2 weeks and couldn't lift anything until she saw the Dr. again. M was happy to help her in any way, everyone was happy to see her home and in much better spirits than before she left that Monday morning. We had the weekend to relax and prepare. J had an opportunity to regain his much needed schedule and people placement. Now 3 weeks later I can say that A is completely back to normal...quite honestly she was back to her old self by about Wednesday after she got home.
Needless to say we did not get that trip that we planned and even fear the idea of trying to leave again...simply because we have 3 others with appendix and we are afraid to take any chances! But through all of this we are a stronger family unit. We were able to see what was important, we were able to see who we could trust, who truly cared what was going on, etc. God did some miraculous things during that time and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Though we now await for each bill to come in, I am taken back to that week, knowing that I wouldn't change anything and to see so many wonderful highlights of that time. So very thankful that everything happened just at the right time, maybe not my timeline, but God's. I don't know why it happened during that time, but his ways are perfect and I know that it happened for a reason, but it did allow me to think....Just when you think it's smooth sailing, be ready for anything, because it's coming!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
The Day Before School
We are about 15 hours away from the first day of school...This will be the first year year that not all the kids will be at the same school. Zach will be in middle school and the rest in elementary. Last year was the last year for them to all be in the same school. It was nice for them to be able to see each other and for Jackson to know there were people there to support him, love on him. So this year will be a year of growth. Zach will be riding the bus to and from school the girls will be walking or riding bikes and Jack will also be riding the bus. New experiences for all and I'm sure Zach will enjoy being in a place of his own, not to mention riding the bus with friends so he can get some extra talk time in!
My hope for this year is that it will not be one of obstacles! Last year it seemed as though we were constantly up against obstacles we as a family could never catch a break...by the time summer came we welcomed it with opened arms because we knew that for once we could actually relax and time was on our side instead of against us. I am hoping that this school year will be one where the kids can really enjoy the year and the learning that comes with it. I know that the calendar itself will be a doozie as it does not lend to many breaks during the year, but if the kids can realize they can do what is expected of them and do it with quality and excellence then that will make for a great year. My hope is that reading will become more enjoyable for all of them, that they will grow with anticipation when reading a book and that they would choose to read their book over watching T.V. or playing on their DS, Wii, or XBox! I know that each grade comes with it's own struggles, but it can not be any more difficult than last year!
I also hope that this year will be one where we can spend more time as a family, going places and experiencing new places together. I hope my girls and Jackson find a really good friend, one they are inseparable from. Zachary has a few close friends that he does many things with, these selected boys have been together for many years and hopefully they will remain close as they reconnect in a new school.
This year will be a year of hope, a year of progress, and hopefully a year of wonderful memories!!
My hope for this year is that it will not be one of obstacles! Last year it seemed as though we were constantly up against obstacles we as a family could never catch a break...by the time summer came we welcomed it with opened arms because we knew that for once we could actually relax and time was on our side instead of against us. I am hoping that this school year will be one where the kids can really enjoy the year and the learning that comes with it. I know that the calendar itself will be a doozie as it does not lend to many breaks during the year, but if the kids can realize they can do what is expected of them and do it with quality and excellence then that will make for a great year. My hope is that reading will become more enjoyable for all of them, that they will grow with anticipation when reading a book and that they would choose to read their book over watching T.V. or playing on their DS, Wii, or XBox! I know that each grade comes with it's own struggles, but it can not be any more difficult than last year!
I also hope that this year will be one where we can spend more time as a family, going places and experiencing new places together. I hope my girls and Jackson find a really good friend, one they are inseparable from. Zachary has a few close friends that he does many things with, these selected boys have been together for many years and hopefully they will remain close as they reconnect in a new school.
This year will be a year of hope, a year of progress, and hopefully a year of wonderful memories!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
How many eyes in the family?
Since finding out at the age of 2 months old that Jackson had Down's Syndrome we have been told time and time again how lucky we are to have a healthy boy. If there is such a thing as typical, you could say that many children with this genetic disposition have heart problems, sometimes eye disorders, breathing problems, increased risk of leukemia...and the list continues. They were right, we have been lucky. Jackson is a tough little man. For the most part he's been very healthy except for the twice a year breathing treatments he's had to endure since he was about a year old. When he see's the PA she remarks at how healthy he is, when he saw an eye specialist at the age of 1 she remarked at how healthy his eyes were. Considering the rocky start the first 6 months of his life he has been on a role. Though not much has changed, I have been noticing his eye beginning to cross in quite often. I can't say this is unusual because M and A have also had this problem, had glasses and now do not need them any longer, so I knew what to expect...(Not that anything is that easy with Jack!) LOL
Taking Jackson to the doctor is always an interesting adventure. He likes to explore, know his surroundings and meet everyone in the office, making sure he doesn't miss anyone! This week I chose to try and get Jackson's eye's checked by someone local in hopes that we would be able to get everything we needed without having to go to Houston. Dr.P. was great. I wasn't too sure at first, but he had amazing patience with J. Of course it would be great to say that he was able to look into the computerized machines and we were able to figure out everything we needed, but alas it is never that easy. Between me, Dr.P and one of his helpers we were a regular dog and pony show trying to get Jack to look in certain directions so Dr. P could look into his eyes.
After about an hour we pulled it off. However the doctor wanted to really see in his eyes and requested we come back in a month for dilation (which means Darren will have to be in attendance!). So he gave a prescription for J stating that this was only half of the required prescipt that had he given him the full script, J would never have worn them because they would be too blurry for him. WOW! Just 2 years ago, the specialist stated J would need glasses once he started to read because of the structure of the lens. I just never realized he would go this drastic this fast, though I must admit his older brother's script has changed tremendously in just a year due to growth. Considering J's growth over the past year, I guess nothing is out of the realm of possibility.
So after the appointment we went to Eye Master's to get his script filled....He looks soooooooo cute! I know that I am biased, but man he is even more adorable than ever!
Here he is getting fitted for his first pair!
Jackson now sporting his glasses. I can't say he keeps them on all the time, he is doing a great job getting used to them. He is far-sighted so it is important he wears his glasses while he plays or looks at tv up close. I am hoping that he'll begin wearing them most of the day, but I figure a few hours at a time is better than nothing.
So just when we thought all of us would be in glasses, we had A who did so well in hers that she no longer has to wear them....We will find out too if M will need to continue wearing them. So for now we have 5 in glasses.
Taking Jackson to the doctor is always an interesting adventure. He likes to explore, know his surroundings and meet everyone in the office, making sure he doesn't miss anyone! This week I chose to try and get Jackson's eye's checked by someone local in hopes that we would be able to get everything we needed without having to go to Houston. Dr.P. was great. I wasn't too sure at first, but he had amazing patience with J. Of course it would be great to say that he was able to look into the computerized machines and we were able to figure out everything we needed, but alas it is never that easy. Between me, Dr.P and one of his helpers we were a regular dog and pony show trying to get Jack to look in certain directions so Dr. P could look into his eyes.
After about an hour we pulled it off. However the doctor wanted to really see in his eyes and requested we come back in a month for dilation (which means Darren will have to be in attendance!). So he gave a prescription for J stating that this was only half of the required prescipt that had he given him the full script, J would never have worn them because they would be too blurry for him. WOW! Just 2 years ago, the specialist stated J would need glasses once he started to read because of the structure of the lens. I just never realized he would go this drastic this fast, though I must admit his older brother's script has changed tremendously in just a year due to growth. Considering J's growth over the past year, I guess nothing is out of the realm of possibility.
So after the appointment we went to Eye Master's to get his script filled....He looks soooooooo cute! I know that I am biased, but man he is even more adorable than ever!
So just when we thought all of us would be in glasses, we had A who did so well in hers that she no longer has to wear them....We will find out too if M will need to continue wearing them. So for now we have 5 in glasses.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Sometimes spontaneity is the spice of life!
Sometimes the spontaneity is the spice of life! We have tried to do things on the fly which is very difficult for us because of our families special needs plus for many years we have struggled! We tend to travel the opposite way for example we got married, had a bunch of kids (not your normal 2 is enough), then chose to go to school in order to ensure that we could give our kids a better life. We knew that we would never be rich or famous. Darren and I knew early in our marriage the importance of family that we wanted to share with our children. To be able to understand and trust each other with the hopes that one day there will be a very strong connection once they have lives of their own. We wanted our kids to know who their parents are and not just the paycheck that was provided. Growing up we remembered all the good times we had either going places or doing things around the house, like me watching "Looney Tunes" with my dad on Saturday mornings, or Darren white water rafting with his dad and his dad having to roll out his cigarettes because they were water logged. Those memories are precious and long remembered and endeared long after the stuff we had during that time in our life.
Now that things are beginning to settle down we chose to show them the world...Texas style! ...even if it's a quick day trip. So about once a quarter we have taken a quick trip around Texas and hopefully the rest of the U.S. During Spring Break we went to Arkansas for a family reunion which allowed our kids to experience 600 acres of living. They were able to run around, explore, fish, talk to cows, etc. Plus they were able to play with their cousins, which is a rarity considering we do not live in the same state. They could be kids without the adults continually asking where they are and what they are doing....they had a blast!
We then chose to elaborate our Easter trip. We went camping as a family which then led to going to the first amusement park that catered to all abilities..."Morgan's Wonderland" (http://www.morganswonderland.com) Here are some of the pictures.
Here is the entrance to Morgan's Wonderland
Here are the kiddos under the hands
Some of our favorite play equipment~~
An awesome slide~
A swing where we don't have to worry about Jackson falling out!
And finally the train that encompasses Morgan's Wonderland...There were no tears shed the entire trip!
Although we try to find new things for the kids to see, Darren and I are also foodies, so if there is a cool restaurant to see or a vineyard to try, we'll make an extra trip...So while we were in San Antonio we also stopped by the Big Lou's Pizzeria as shown on Man vs. Food: http://www.biglouspizzeria.com/
Our pizza was only 24 inches! As if that were not enough we also had to go by LuLu's bakery which is also home of the 3lb cinnamon roll! It was delicious and all 6 of us were able to eat on 1 roll with some still left over!! http://www.luluscafeinsa.com/
Zachary was also studying Texas History this year at school so we got to see the Colorado River and also took pictures of our tour of the Alamo! It was a great trip!!
Darren and I also took some time to ourselves yesterday and saw the Broadway Across America "WICKED"!!
I was so excited...it was excellent! Hopefully we'll be able to see it again!
As we were coming home we decided to surprise the kids and go on another family adventure....to Wimberley, TX. Now I will admit there was a purpose of going and that was to surprise a very long time friend...but when we found out it was the oldest and 2nd largest open market in Texas we thought it would be a great experience. So we woke them up and got in the car and traveled 4 hours to see Denise! It was wonderful to see her face in amazement. We wanted to support her and her family's new business of Gourmet Tamales http://www.gourmettamalekitchen.com/ We had an opportunity to test some of their tamales and they were awesome. The kids got some Old style German Kettlecorn and freshly roasted peanuts. After spending some time there we also chose to go to a winery near by. After going to several wineries in Arkansas, we have become drawn to the vineyards and tastings. So we headed to Driftwood vineyards http://www.driftwoodvineyards.com/ the view was breathtaking! So we go the kids together for a photo!
It was a beautiful day in Wimberley and so thankful we had the opportunity to see something new!
Since Jackson wanted pizza (his favorite) we also stopped at a nearby pizzeria which was housed a brick oven pizza. To top it off we treated the kids with Dairy Queen ice cream. They were such troopers during this long drive and got along great!
Not sure where we'll go next time, but I have really come to love these little mini-trips! I look forward to showing them more of the world as they become age appropriate and can handle the long trips. They may not see all the glitz and glamour, but at least they'll see parts of the world where they can make a difference. For now, we'll serve our community as we get ready to volunteer with the backpack program. I love doing things with my family and watching their faces light up as they see things they've only seen in books or photographs. I look forward to what the future brings and how the kids remember what we did and how they grew as a person!
Now that things are beginning to settle down we chose to show them the world...Texas style! ...even if it's a quick day trip. So about once a quarter we have taken a quick trip around Texas and hopefully the rest of the U.S. During Spring Break we went to Arkansas for a family reunion which allowed our kids to experience 600 acres of living. They were able to run around, explore, fish, talk to cows, etc. Plus they were able to play with their cousins, which is a rarity considering we do not live in the same state. They could be kids without the adults continually asking where they are and what they are doing....they had a blast!
We then chose to elaborate our Easter trip. We went camping as a family which then led to going to the first amusement park that catered to all abilities..."Morgan's Wonderland" (http://www.morganswonderland.com) Here are some of the pictures.
Here is the entrance to Morgan's Wonderland
An awesome slide~
Although we try to find new things for the kids to see, Darren and I are also foodies, so if there is a cool restaurant to see or a vineyard to try, we'll make an extra trip...So while we were in San Antonio we also stopped by the Big Lou's Pizzeria as shown on Man vs. Food: http://www.biglouspizzeria.com/
I was so excited...it was excellent! Hopefully we'll be able to see it again!
As we were coming home we decided to surprise the kids and go on another family adventure....to Wimberley, TX. Now I will admit there was a purpose of going and that was to surprise a very long time friend...but when we found out it was the oldest and 2nd largest open market in Texas we thought it would be a great experience. So we woke them up and got in the car and traveled 4 hours to see Denise! It was wonderful to see her face in amazement. We wanted to support her and her family's new business of Gourmet Tamales http://www.gourmettamalekitchen.com/ We had an opportunity to test some of their tamales and they were awesome. The kids got some Old style German Kettlecorn and freshly roasted peanuts. After spending some time there we also chose to go to a winery near by. After going to several wineries in Arkansas, we have become drawn to the vineyards and tastings. So we headed to Driftwood vineyards http://www.driftwoodvineyards.com/ the view was breathtaking! So we go the kids together for a photo!
It was a beautiful day in Wimberley and so thankful we had the opportunity to see something new!
Since Jackson wanted pizza (his favorite) we also stopped at a nearby pizzeria which was housed a brick oven pizza. To top it off we treated the kids with Dairy Queen ice cream. They were such troopers during this long drive and got along great!
Not sure where we'll go next time, but I have really come to love these little mini-trips! I look forward to showing them more of the world as they become age appropriate and can handle the long trips. They may not see all the glitz and glamour, but at least they'll see parts of the world where they can make a difference. For now, we'll serve our community as we get ready to volunteer with the backpack program. I love doing things with my family and watching their faces light up as they see things they've only seen in books or photographs. I look forward to what the future brings and how the kids remember what we did and how they grew as a person!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Today we Celebrate!
Every milestone with Jack is an opportunity to celebrate! With everything he has to overcome and sometimes the slowness in which it comes we celebrate everything! We celebrate him going potty, we celebrate him going poo, we celebrate the fact that he can put on his own clothes! Even he celebrates....today was extra special because today he lost his first tooth!! I wasn't sure what the time line would be for him. With Jackson we take everything as it comes. We know he'll be able to accomplish everything we may just not know when and that is okay with us, because when it does come it is so very awesome! I guess you could say that the patience I requested when I was trying to get pregnant with my first has come back to reward me with continual patience and understanding. Not that it is easy mind you, but it makes the milestones he achieves that much more precious...I can totally relate to Mary treasuring those simple things in her heart because Jackson's milestones do the same for me.
Yesterday Jackson showed me his mouth with his finger and I looked in there and noticed his tooth was a bit wiggly. This morning it was still there and very wiggly...a couple of hours later it was gone. We have no idea what happened to the tooth, we're not sure if he swallowed it or if he threw it in the trash. What we do know is that the tooth fairy does not discriminate and she will make an appearance this evening! Jackson is not quite sure what to do with this new hole in his mouth, but his new tooth has already made an appearance through the gum so it won't be too long before that space is filled.
This month has been quite a busy month for Jackson, he has chosen to become completely potty trained and no longer requires pull-ups during the day or night and the loss of his first tooth...of course we can't forget that he also turned 6!! It still amazes me how much he's grown, from a little man who was basically a failure to thrive to now a 52lb boy who is potty trained and 1 tooth less. He amazes me in so many ways that I can't help but enjoy him!
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Everything Matters!
A couple of weeks ago D and I were watching "In Plain Sight" which is a show about wit sec protection program (not a reality show). On this particular show, one of the characters (Marshall Marshall)...(yes he is a Marshall who's first name is Marshall and yes they make fun of it on the show!)Anyway, Marshall was helping a teenager settle into his new environment at a boarding school while awaiting to give his testimony. I can't quite remember what sparked the conversation, but what struck me was that Marshall told him "Everything matters!" Marshall told the teenager that it matters what you think, how you feel, what you do...regardless of what people say, it all matters!
I have always lived by "everything happens for a reason," we may not know the reason at the time, but after looking back we can always find it! Anyway, the same time this show came on I was trying to figure out what we as a team (for school) needed to do to reach our kids. Our school if very rich in diversity, all students come with rich experiences which may not lead to educational experiences. We ( the teachers) work hard to ensure they learn everything they need to learn and be able to apply their knowledge to their home environment, otherwise what is the point! When I watched "In Plain Sight" I knew that this was something that needed to be shared and recognized next year...I'm hoping it will help make a difference.
To take it a step further I applied it to my life and quite honestly I think that both ideas "Everything happens for a reason, and Everything matters" go hand-in-hand. When Jackson was born and was diagnosed at the age of 2 months I witnessed this first hand. In the following months and years I have come to realize how wonderfully intricate everything is, how important everything is to achieve 1 simple goal. For example, for Jackson to be able to eat food, he had to reach the goal of being able to sit up because those muscles in the abdomen worked together with the swallowing aspect. I found out that in order for him to be able to drink out of a cup or a straw he had to have tremendous sucking power, so we made him sit up to take his bottles and he had to have the Playtex bottles with the bags so he could learn to suck up his formula. Who knew that all these things would be such an important part of something we do every day? Who knew we were so intricately designed to work in that particular fashion. At one point we had to get on a cellular level to see the master plan. This is so relevant to how we meet each day. So often we are on the cellular level that it's difficult to see the master plan. We often get frustrated because we feel as though we are going nowhere...but remember everything matters and even though it may not matter to you, someone is watching, taking it all in and learning from your experiences. Everything happens for a reason and know that each thought, each action, each trial, each happiness and celebration matters!
YOU MATTER!!
Monday, June 21, 2010
The adventures of selling/buying a home
It has been said (by whom I have no idea) that the most stressful things in life are getting a new job, death, and moving (buying or selling a house). I never truly believed all of this until recently. I knew that a new job was stressful as was a death in the family but thought they were exaggerating about the whole house thing. I figured they just had a bad experience or were not prepared. When we bought our 1st house almost 11 years ago, the process was really rather painless. Using our VA loan most of everything was handled for us and the down payment was minimal. Overall the experience was really pretty easy and pleasant! We had only been married a couple of years and had no children and at the time had difficulties conceiving, so this house was perfect for us. Things quickly began to change! After living in the house almost a year things began to change... having 4 kids in a matter of 5 years began to overload our little house of 1100 sq.ft. So 2 years ago we decided to move. Everything was in place we had the money and we moved to another house that we ended up buying. This was the only way we could put our house on the market! There was no way we would have been able to sell our house with us living in it...too small, too many people. Anyway, things happened etc, etc and we finally put the house on the market in November.
One thing I have realized throughout this process is you never know what is going to happen. You never know what will attract the buyer, will it be the feel of the home, the layout, convenience? We painted inside and out, we made changes to the house that was never made while we were in the house...still no sale. So we decided to lay carpet where carpet had once been instead of showcasing the original hardwood floor. Originally we had given a flooring allowance to restore the floors but that didn't seem to satisfy those who were looking. Once the carpet had been laid we had a contract 2 days later....AMAZING! Who knew that laying carpet would have made that much difference. So we were excited. We haggled closing price and were awaiting the end of the buyer's remorse option as well as seeing the inspection report. We thought we would be in the clear...til the report came.
Some how, some way we have to replace the roof and now we have an engineer looking at the foundation of the house. This is not what we had hoped for. Darren's first thought was to take it off the market, he was furious. But after some thought he realized it just needed to be done. What we thought we would be coming away with will not be the case. Why can't it be easy? Why can't everything go smoothly? However, they accepted what we would take care of and the saga continues. So they will have a new roof and we will fix the foundation if necessary, whatever it takes to sell that house and get it off our books! We are tired of paying 2 mortgages and dumping money into a house that is no longer a part of our lives. We're just ready to see an end!
With that being said I can easily say that I miss that house! I has so many memories for us, so much happened there. But there was no way we could have stayed and the move has been good, tough but good! But after all is said and done I think we'll just stop...we'll be here for a while!
One thing I have realized throughout this process is you never know what is going to happen. You never know what will attract the buyer, will it be the feel of the home, the layout, convenience? We painted inside and out, we made changes to the house that was never made while we were in the house...still no sale. So we decided to lay carpet where carpet had once been instead of showcasing the original hardwood floor. Originally we had given a flooring allowance to restore the floors but that didn't seem to satisfy those who were looking. Once the carpet had been laid we had a contract 2 days later....AMAZING! Who knew that laying carpet would have made that much difference. So we were excited. We haggled closing price and were awaiting the end of the buyer's remorse option as well as seeing the inspection report. We thought we would be in the clear...til the report came.
Some how, some way we have to replace the roof and now we have an engineer looking at the foundation of the house. This is not what we had hoped for. Darren's first thought was to take it off the market, he was furious. But after some thought he realized it just needed to be done. What we thought we would be coming away with will not be the case. Why can't it be easy? Why can't everything go smoothly? However, they accepted what we would take care of and the saga continues. So they will have a new roof and we will fix the foundation if necessary, whatever it takes to sell that house and get it off our books! We are tired of paying 2 mortgages and dumping money into a house that is no longer a part of our lives. We're just ready to see an end!
With that being said I can easily say that I miss that house! I has so many memories for us, so much happened there. But there was no way we could have stayed and the move has been good, tough but good! But after all is said and done I think we'll just stop...we'll be here for a while!
Easier said than done!
Many families make plans to go and do and often times when other families get together there is so much thought in the planning and food that often the kids are not considered. In a family with typically developing kids there is no reason to think about the kids because for the most part kids are self-reliant and the mere pop in a movie or bring a few toys is a pretty easy problem solver. For the most part kids can pretty much find their own things to play with or are easily persuaded to do just about anything. Pool parties are fun with hardly any worries, gatherings outside are a time where parents can relax and the kids can play full knowing the kids are safe.
Though this describes most families it does not describe ours. Any time and I mean anytime we are going somewhere we are constantly thinking about the ramifications. We continually survey what will happen while we are there and the problems we may incur. We are NOT your typical family, we are a special needs family and though we strive to be just like everyone else we know that there is a much deeper thought process that must always go on before we make decisions. Jackson is at our continual forethought. Jackson is now 6 years old and though for most people he would be much easier to maintain, this is not always true. Though he is 6 developmentally he is about 2 or 3. He doesn't understand why certain noises bother him and he just wants to cover his ears and go away. He doesn't understand why he just can't go somewhere or what he is supposed to do each minute of the day to keep him occupied. Cause and effect is not something he has grasped yet and because of these processes we have to make sure he will always have something to do and that he will be safe. More than that, if we are going with friends will we have the opportunity to relax or will be continually running around? If it's a new place I can safely say we'll be running around, thus we'd rather stay home.
We never know what will set him off, it could be the crying of a baby or the loud noises children make when they are running around. We never know how other children will perceive him...often they see him, but never play with him only stare or run away from him or tell me everything he's doing wrong! We must always bring toys for him to play with because we know that there are certain toys that can entertain him for long periods of time. We also know the DVD's he enjoys and calms him so we always have those available for him to watch, even if it means I go to the car and he watches it there. It's never easy!
If you do not have a special needs child this will be something you will never understand, you can pity the situation or be on the opposite side and say we are too concerned but all I can say is that if it means peace of mind and sometimes peace and quiet, then these are the precautions we must take.
Yesterday we decided to try taking the kids to the beach. We have been asked several times to go to the beach with friends, etc but always said no for a couple of reasons: Past experiences have never been good and we didn't want to commit, get there, then leave and feel bad that we had to because is wasn't working out with Jack. So we chose to try as a family to go to the beach. It was touch and go for a little bit, but overall it was a relaxing time. We got Jackson used to the water and playing with his brother and sisters, then they began to make sandcastles and Jackson would get water to fill in the moat. Darren and I could sit down and watch everything take place without the worry of Jackson going into the water and going too far in. We noticed that he still loses his balance even a knee deep water which tells us he is still not ready to go much further. Unfortunately this poses problems with our other kids who want to trek further out. Anytime they started to go out, Jackson would follow not understanding that the water was getting deeper and he wouldn't be able to keep balance. However, yesterday there was a nice area where Jackson could play without the threat of waves due to the sand bars that were breaking the waves for him. He was able to sit in the water without the worry of falling over but mostly he found most of his time playing in the sand. Is this to say it will always be this way? Who knows, will it be different with other families involved, probably so, but now that we know what attracts him and keep him busy and that's the important part. So we will continue to attempt going to the beach allowing him to become accustomed to the water and our expectations in hopes that we will find a pattern that works for us.
I think the hardest part in all of this is not being able to be a part of everything. We miss so much, but to us it is worth it for sanity. For us to continually check to see where Jack is, what he's doing, what he's getting into is a lot of work because he must always be in our sights. Water is not our friend because for Jack it is an attraction he is constantly pulled toward even though he can't swim and even with a life jacket on it is difficult to keep him upright. It is so difficult to explain! If you would have told me about this before having Jack I would have thought , you're babying him, coddling him, you just need to get over it and let him just do. It's just not that simple when he doesn't have the check system most people are born with and learn at a young age. It's not that simple when he begins to break down and start crying becoming a blob on the floor that is difficult to pick up off the ground. It's not that simple when he becomes so frustrated he gets aggressive and starts hitting other children to either get attention or to get them to play with him. It just not that simple. And though I do not expect many parents to understand I did want to shed some light on our situation.
So when we say we can't please know that we are desperately saying yes inside, but also know that in the best interest of us and our family we just can't at this time. This is not to say that next time will be the same because Jackson is always changing and growing. Every day is a new day and we always take it one day at a time!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
It always get harder!
As I read other blogs of mom's with small children or mom's with small children and expecting another I can't help but laugh. I don't laugh at them because they are silly, I merely laugh because I was there once and thought the exact same things. As they go about their very busy toddler day wondering if it will ever get better I want to say, enjoy what you have while you have it! I say this because we always look at others and assume it must get easier if my kids are in school, or it must get easier when my kids are in high school, or even get better once they are out of the house. Though I am by no means to this point, I think I can safely say that it doesn't get easier, the problems just become more in-depth and complex.
When my kids were toddlers I thought there would be no end to the insanity. I never thought I would see the end of the diaper trail, the odoriferous trash cans and dirty clothes. All I wanted was for my children to be able to talk to me without screaming because all but 1 of my children had speaking disabilities. It seemed that I could never catch a break. My 3rd child didn't walk until she was almost 18 months old and Jack, well that put everything into perspective. After having J I realized that it didn't matter if they stopped sucking their thumb at a certain age, it didn't matter if they could put their clothes on by themselves by the time they were walking or when they rolled over or got their teeth, because I realized that in the long run this would all be done and taken for granted by the time they were high school graduates. Little did I know that the toddler years were the simplest.
Now that I have all 4 children in elementary school, with 1 going into middle school I feel that the struggles have only just begun. Now the worries of what milestones they have accomplished have fallen by the wayside and our focus is on their ability to learn, understand, and be successful students. As a teacher I can say that every one learns in their own pace, some faster than others and as a teacher we provide for that gap. However, after the struggles we have endured the past 2 years with our own children, it has been difficult as we ask ourselves is this something they will grow out of or is their something more? I take great pride in knowing and understanding my kids. I can smell when their are sick (yes I know it's weird, but it's my mom sense), I know when something is troubling them and they are waiting to spill. But I always doubt myself when I find something that I think could have been caught before the struggles began.
This year my kids began to struggle in school. I don't mean socially, but educationally. I knew that this was their second year in a new school and it was more rigorous than the previous, but D and I worked diligently with them to catch up, however it wasn't working. First came Madeline. Since the first grade she has struggled, she went to summer school after her first grade year to catch up, was still low, but moved to second and a new school. We figured she was so shy and quiet she didn't ask enough questions and fell by the wayside (not the squeaky wheel). She struggled all year long, was tested for special education but found that her IQ was above average. She struggled in reading and comprehension. It was suggested that she repeat second grade, but I knew that she could catch up, all my kids are the underdog champions. So we moved her to the third grade. After the third week we spoke with her teachers to see how she was doing (we keep close contact with our teachers because we want them to be as informed about our kids as much as possible). After meeting with the teachers and seeing her struggles so soon into third we decided to move her back to second, then saw the Dr. about possible ADD, she was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, after placed on medication, her grades and reading ability shot through the roof. Then.....
We noticed Zachary began to struggle, his teachers noticed that he had difficulty concentrating, couldn't understand and follow directions thoroughly. He was getting frustrated. His grades had never been stellar, 70's and 80's, but he was working hard and I knew that because he is a pleaser. After testing him we found he had ADD. Once he was on the medication his grades began to climb and for the first time in 4 years he was on honor roll.
As if 2 weren't enough Anna along the same timeline was struggling with reading. At the beginning of 1st grade she was reading on a middle of Kindergarten year level, 0.6. By November there was not much progression. Anna was not enjoying herself, she was frustrated that others were reading better than her, she couldn't remember the instructions, she couldn't think fast enough. After working diligently with her teacher and having A go to after school tutoring, I could see we were not making progress. By now we are late January, she had not progressed at all. After seeing remarkable results with the other two I suggested to have her tested and sure enough she was ADD. Her reading soared from a 0.6 to 3.2 in less than 3 months...a third grade reading level! She was confident about her math facts and was working tangrams and other puzzles that most kids her age do not do.
While going through this difficult year I beat myself up because I knew that I didn't read to my kids when they were little every night because I needed to work on school work to get a degree to help take care of my kids. I hated the fact that I had heard so many times the benefits of reading to children and knew how much I had enjoyed being read to as a kid. With 4 kids within 18 months of each other it was a struggle to do every thing a mom is supposed to do for all....but was nothing in comparison to the struggles and decisions we have had to make in their best interests this year. It was tough knowing that Madeline tested for ADD/ADHD and we didn't know until it was too late, had we known in first grade she may not have been pulled back to a lower grade. But we did the best with what we had. I guess as parents that is all we can do.
Hind sight is always 20/20 and I hope and pray that I will continually assess the needs of my kids on what they need. Jackson has taught me to stop looking at what others are doing, though it is a good measuring point each child brings to the table their own abilities that far outweigh anyone elses. We are all made for different things, to pose different ideas, to come up with different experiences that make each of us unique, so why work as a whole, why not embrace the individual? I know the toddler years were tough, but in comparison, it was nothing like this stage. I can only imagine what it will be like when the school work becomes more demanding. I just hope that we have laid the ground work for our children to be successful. I pray that their education will become less of a struggle so they can begin to see who they can be instead of what they are not. The elementary school years have been a huge learning curve for my kiddos. We have tried to teach them to look at only themselves and not worry about how fast others are going. We have taught them how to complete their school work when they get home, to ask questions and trust their teachers. We have also shown them the relationships that we have with their teachers so they know we are working together to make them better students. So much is learned in the elementary schools years that make the toddler years seem like a walk in the park.
So as you are struggling with whatever age group your child is in remember to be there for those who come behind you to remind them everything will be okay. It is important to go through the struggles to prepare you for what happens in life later on. If we did not struggle, we would not grow. It is important to lend an ear and be a should to cry on for those mom's who are crying out with young ones and let them know it's okay they will get through it. Everyone finds their way, they just have to believe and be encourage to run through it!
When my kids were toddlers I thought there would be no end to the insanity. I never thought I would see the end of the diaper trail, the odoriferous trash cans and dirty clothes. All I wanted was for my children to be able to talk to me without screaming because all but 1 of my children had speaking disabilities. It seemed that I could never catch a break. My 3rd child didn't walk until she was almost 18 months old and Jack, well that put everything into perspective. After having J I realized that it didn't matter if they stopped sucking their thumb at a certain age, it didn't matter if they could put their clothes on by themselves by the time they were walking or when they rolled over or got their teeth, because I realized that in the long run this would all be done and taken for granted by the time they were high school graduates. Little did I know that the toddler years were the simplest.
Now that I have all 4 children in elementary school, with 1 going into middle school I feel that the struggles have only just begun. Now the worries of what milestones they have accomplished have fallen by the wayside and our focus is on their ability to learn, understand, and be successful students. As a teacher I can say that every one learns in their own pace, some faster than others and as a teacher we provide for that gap. However, after the struggles we have endured the past 2 years with our own children, it has been difficult as we ask ourselves is this something they will grow out of or is their something more? I take great pride in knowing and understanding my kids. I can smell when their are sick (yes I know it's weird, but it's my mom sense), I know when something is troubling them and they are waiting to spill. But I always doubt myself when I find something that I think could have been caught before the struggles began.
This year my kids began to struggle in school. I don't mean socially, but educationally. I knew that this was their second year in a new school and it was more rigorous than the previous, but D and I worked diligently with them to catch up, however it wasn't working. First came Madeline. Since the first grade she has struggled, she went to summer school after her first grade year to catch up, was still low, but moved to second and a new school. We figured she was so shy and quiet she didn't ask enough questions and fell by the wayside (not the squeaky wheel). She struggled all year long, was tested for special education but found that her IQ was above average. She struggled in reading and comprehension. It was suggested that she repeat second grade, but I knew that she could catch up, all my kids are the underdog champions. So we moved her to the third grade. After the third week we spoke with her teachers to see how she was doing (we keep close contact with our teachers because we want them to be as informed about our kids as much as possible). After meeting with the teachers and seeing her struggles so soon into third we decided to move her back to second, then saw the Dr. about possible ADD, she was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, after placed on medication, her grades and reading ability shot through the roof. Then.....
We noticed Zachary began to struggle, his teachers noticed that he had difficulty concentrating, couldn't understand and follow directions thoroughly. He was getting frustrated. His grades had never been stellar, 70's and 80's, but he was working hard and I knew that because he is a pleaser. After testing him we found he had ADD. Once he was on the medication his grades began to climb and for the first time in 4 years he was on honor roll.
As if 2 weren't enough Anna along the same timeline was struggling with reading. At the beginning of 1st grade she was reading on a middle of Kindergarten year level, 0.6. By November there was not much progression. Anna was not enjoying herself, she was frustrated that others were reading better than her, she couldn't remember the instructions, she couldn't think fast enough. After working diligently with her teacher and having A go to after school tutoring, I could see we were not making progress. By now we are late January, she had not progressed at all. After seeing remarkable results with the other two I suggested to have her tested and sure enough she was ADD. Her reading soared from a 0.6 to 3.2 in less than 3 months...a third grade reading level! She was confident about her math facts and was working tangrams and other puzzles that most kids her age do not do.
While going through this difficult year I beat myself up because I knew that I didn't read to my kids when they were little every night because I needed to work on school work to get a degree to help take care of my kids. I hated the fact that I had heard so many times the benefits of reading to children and knew how much I had enjoyed being read to as a kid. With 4 kids within 18 months of each other it was a struggle to do every thing a mom is supposed to do for all....but was nothing in comparison to the struggles and decisions we have had to make in their best interests this year. It was tough knowing that Madeline tested for ADD/ADHD and we didn't know until it was too late, had we known in first grade she may not have been pulled back to a lower grade. But we did the best with what we had. I guess as parents that is all we can do.
Hind sight is always 20/20 and I hope and pray that I will continually assess the needs of my kids on what they need. Jackson has taught me to stop looking at what others are doing, though it is a good measuring point each child brings to the table their own abilities that far outweigh anyone elses. We are all made for different things, to pose different ideas, to come up with different experiences that make each of us unique, so why work as a whole, why not embrace the individual? I know the toddler years were tough, but in comparison, it was nothing like this stage. I can only imagine what it will be like when the school work becomes more demanding. I just hope that we have laid the ground work for our children to be successful. I pray that their education will become less of a struggle so they can begin to see who they can be instead of what they are not. The elementary school years have been a huge learning curve for my kiddos. We have tried to teach them to look at only themselves and not worry about how fast others are going. We have taught them how to complete their school work when they get home, to ask questions and trust their teachers. We have also shown them the relationships that we have with their teachers so they know we are working together to make them better students. So much is learned in the elementary schools years that make the toddler years seem like a walk in the park.
So as you are struggling with whatever age group your child is in remember to be there for those who come behind you to remind them everything will be okay. It is important to go through the struggles to prepare you for what happens in life later on. If we did not struggle, we would not grow. It is important to lend an ear and be a should to cry on for those mom's who are crying out with young ones and let them know it's okay they will get through it. Everyone finds their way, they just have to believe and be encourage to run through it!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Tomorrow she turns 9!
Madeline is so much like me it's scary. She's caddy, witty, smart, moody, creative, loving, quiet, and introspective. This is not to say that all of these describe me, because they do not. This little girl has a big heart and many times wears it on her sleeve. I see portions of me that I want to say Why?? Because I have seen the hurt it has caused many people and I know that if I could do it over again I would, thus why have her life go that way? However, through my struggles I have learned who I am and what I can do, which makes me cheer her on. She is a middle child of sorts, kind of gets lost in the shuffle, expected to hold her own. I feel that she will be a tremendous young lady who will make a difference in this world, when she finds out her place. She still hasn't found her niche, but together we are working on it slowly.
This little girl is creative! She can dance, loves to sing, can draw, swim and so much more that we have not discovered. I hope the next few years Madeline begins to see what she can do and have confidence, take pride in what she accomplishes without regret. I have never regretted having my children, they are all uniquely awesome. Though we may struggle in life I can say that I am so proud of their accomplishments and their learning moments!
Happy Birthday Madeline! May you always know how much you are loved, admired, and enjoyed!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Boy how time flies!
So it's been roughly 3 years since my last post! Boy how time flies. We only have 2 days left before school is out and I can say I am ready for the break. It's been a long year, but I also know next year will be longer only because of the calendar that has been put into place. Instead of boring you with what I am doing, let me update you on what this year has held for the kiddos.
Zachary
This year Zachary completed the 4th grade. After seeing some success last year, we hoped this year would be better. Things began to become very shaky as we saw his progress become non-existent. So after speaking with his teachers, we decided to look at testing for ADD. In November he was put on ADD medication and after that he has grown leaps and bounds. He knows how much his medication helps him to pay attention. He made the honor roll for the first time in his educational career. He also decided this year to become a veterinarian because of his love for pets. His TAKS tests were also a major accomplishment as he made commended in Reading and missed commended by 1 question in math! We could not be prouder of our big man!
Madeline
Madeline's year became a rocky start. Knowing Madeline's year last year was one of struggle, we decided to move her on to 3rd grade. After about 3 weeks of watching her struggle and after speaking with her teachers, we decided to move her back to 2nd grade and also test her for ADD. We found that she had ADD/ADHD, and after putting her on medication her grades skyrocketed! She began to make high 90's and each 9 weeks got A Honor roll. We were so proud! We also saw a change in how she felt about herself that I thought I would not see. She became confident and assured. She found herself this year that I hope will last a lifetime. She was finally proud of herself and each accomplishment she made despite the events that transpired those first few weeks of school. She has become a confident reader and has improved more than we could have hoped.
Annaleah
Anna was hesitant going to first grade because she heard it was a lot of work. Once school got underway we could see her struggling. Her teacher was more than we could have asked for. She began tutoring during and after school. By January she was still struggling reading only 30 words per minute, make low 70's in most subjects. She was fidgety had difficulty sitting still and following instructions. So once again we had her tested for ADD....yup, she was put on medication as well. The first 9 weeks during the medication we saw dramatic progress as she made the A/B honor roll for the first time. Her reading began to improve as well! After her year end testing we got to see how dramatic the improvement actually was. In less than 3 months her reading level went from a 0.9 (pre-first grade) to a 2.4 (2nd grade 4th month) AR level. She went from reading 30 words per minute with 10 errors to reading 74 words per minute with only 2 errors. She is ready for 2nd grade!
Jackson
At the start of the year he was moving from one classroom to another Mrs. Bollom to Mrs. Kibodeaux and was having difficulty adjusting to the new environment. After a couple of months his teachers and I decided it would be best to move him to 1 classroom. So off to Mrs. Kibodeaux's class for the full day. My goal for him has always been to be in a regular class with his other peers, however after seeing the difficulty he had with large groups of students I know he is where he is supposed to be. He loves his class and their schedule...this year his vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds and in the past couple of weeks he has chosen to potty train. He will be turning 6 tomorrow and each day, each week, each month always holds something new. He is our child who will do what is best for his timeline. It is definitely a patience builder! But boy it he soooo worth it!
For now we gear up for the summer. Swim team begins their first official swim meet next week. I finish my class in a couple of weeks and we begin to transfer Zachary into his own bedroom as he moves to Rasco next year!
Zachary
This year Zachary completed the 4th grade. After seeing some success last year, we hoped this year would be better. Things began to become very shaky as we saw his progress become non-existent. So after speaking with his teachers, we decided to look at testing for ADD. In November he was put on ADD medication and after that he has grown leaps and bounds. He knows how much his medication helps him to pay attention. He made the honor roll for the first time in his educational career. He also decided this year to become a veterinarian because of his love for pets. His TAKS tests were also a major accomplishment as he made commended in Reading and missed commended by 1 question in math! We could not be prouder of our big man!
Madeline
Madeline's year became a rocky start. Knowing Madeline's year last year was one of struggle, we decided to move her on to 3rd grade. After about 3 weeks of watching her struggle and after speaking with her teachers, we decided to move her back to 2nd grade and also test her for ADD. We found that she had ADD/ADHD, and after putting her on medication her grades skyrocketed! She began to make high 90's and each 9 weeks got A Honor roll. We were so proud! We also saw a change in how she felt about herself that I thought I would not see. She became confident and assured. She found herself this year that I hope will last a lifetime. She was finally proud of herself and each accomplishment she made despite the events that transpired those first few weeks of school. She has become a confident reader and has improved more than we could have hoped.
Annaleah
Anna was hesitant going to first grade because she heard it was a lot of work. Once school got underway we could see her struggling. Her teacher was more than we could have asked for. She began tutoring during and after school. By January she was still struggling reading only 30 words per minute, make low 70's in most subjects. She was fidgety had difficulty sitting still and following instructions. So once again we had her tested for ADD....yup, she was put on medication as well. The first 9 weeks during the medication we saw dramatic progress as she made the A/B honor roll for the first time. Her reading began to improve as well! After her year end testing we got to see how dramatic the improvement actually was. In less than 3 months her reading level went from a 0.9 (pre-first grade) to a 2.4 (2nd grade 4th month) AR level. She went from reading 30 words per minute with 10 errors to reading 74 words per minute with only 2 errors. She is ready for 2nd grade!
Jackson
At the start of the year he was moving from one classroom to another Mrs. Bollom to Mrs. Kibodeaux and was having difficulty adjusting to the new environment. After a couple of months his teachers and I decided it would be best to move him to 1 classroom. So off to Mrs. Kibodeaux's class for the full day. My goal for him has always been to be in a regular class with his other peers, however after seeing the difficulty he had with large groups of students I know he is where he is supposed to be. He loves his class and their schedule...this year his vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds and in the past couple of weeks he has chosen to potty train. He will be turning 6 tomorrow and each day, each week, each month always holds something new. He is our child who will do what is best for his timeline. It is definitely a patience builder! But boy it he soooo worth it!
For now we gear up for the summer. Swim team begins their first official swim meet next week. I finish my class in a couple of weeks and we begin to transfer Zachary into his own bedroom as he moves to Rasco next year!
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